In October I caught her sending messages to a guy she met at work, a big fight happened and she wants a divorce now, its been almost two months and I still cant believe whats happening, Im 33 shes 27 we have 4 kids together youngest is only 5 months. They may have unmet . I need me time. If youre feeling like you want to get over this pain and suffering, the last step you have to take is very important. Problems arise when you leave the house early, barely speaking to or connecting with your wife before you dash out the door. I do, and I dont. When we met it was love from the off. What did you do to cause her to leave? The truth is that there are probably a million reasons for his or her departure, but the one you choose to believe will set the tone for your perspective, attitude, and experience going forward. Wow harsh, I could swear that was written for me sheesh. I still work full time. My husband made cupcakes for my daughter and every home game for two seasons for four years of high school. I know for some people, strength is a lot more difficult to find within, and some people may not have a support network around them, but with, I didnt feel like a 20 year old. Without her, I would not be here to tell this story., Often our first is when we are young, in high school even. The self centered traits of the narcissistic parent gets worse and they seem not to care if their mask is off in the end ! Solicitors dont help you can go to them and tell them anything and they will help you. Are we supposed to stay through that too? I am now literally in a living hell. In a way i feel the same way. He would pick on me for everything in front of the kids. I found this searching for some advice. They would go to the same school dances. And it may never happen. Its safe to say its probably in the bloodline, and Ive got great role models there. The kids are with her in the parents house. We did counselling were he was told he had: PTSD and depression- of course there was nothing wrong with him. The fifth reason I found out about on my own and that was because she was having an affair. This is also the second time he has done this the last time wasnt quite as brutal I dont think he was still super cold and mean to me but there was a rocky relationship leading into it so it wasnt overly surprising it lasted abiut a month and half before he came crawling back. Weve only been married for the last 19 months. It stated a picture from FB showing a conversation between my husband and this girl he use to sleep with. Few years back as a woman in her mid-40s she had an affair with and 18 year old from the church and declared in a violent rage it was my fault for not making her happy Yikes! I think youre right. I was up all night waiting for her and when she got home at 8 am, it really hit the fan. My wife and i have been married for 4 years and together for 5. I was so in love and i realize it now that shes gone. Dont fall for it ! I am truly lost without her. I know it sounds stupid but I am still so in love with him and so upset Im still hoping he will come back this time. Your partner met someone else. My original post would have sounded very similar to yours here. While I understand we didnt have the perfect marriage and living situations, I never saw this coming. But her decision is not deadly. She says she is doing this for our marriage. I have to have faith. I would of course have to impose new rules to our relationship after finding out that shes been deceiving everyone, but I would give her a second chance. Help is available, and we wish you the best of luck in your search. Confessions of a man: "How menopause ended my marriage and what I She doesnt cook (not in 20 years I have known her, not a joke either), does not clean (although has started making some effort in this area) but is simply heartless to them. I lost my dad a few years ago. I am in very similar situation. What a way to throw a wrench in! I love him and i have tried to do a lot to make him happy. I served honorably for 27 years in the Army, receiving the highest peacetime award for my service. Im not so much after advice, but comfort would be great right about now. If you would like to consult with a mental health professional, you can start finding therapists in your area by entering your city or ZIP code into the search field on this page: https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html. Admittedly, infidelity has been a factor over th years with at least 3 incidents in th past with 1 most recent being 6 months into our marriage. Its been six months and I dont feel like at any more peace and someways irs worse than before. Make her respect you and have dignity..move on get yourself together n this may take time but keep busy and stay active in ur kids life. Whats the toughest part is she just stopped communication totally. And having them around will be the best medicine you can get. The pain is unbelievable and I am only struggling from day to day. How to cope: As hard as it is, try not to take this personally. I like CassieDbut its getting to be almost a half of a year since she has posted. Hi Jon She was my world and the greatest mother our children could ever ask for. I can see people are very emotional and have missed that these are the top 5 reasons not the only reasons cos obviously the list could be very long if that were the case. Some of those things that seem like just cute little quirks can be the tip of the iceberg. Now that I have the courage and confidence to speak out about my story I want to inspire others through Mint Movement, a community for single parents, to do the same. It hurts to have been so stupid to believe she ever wanted it back at all, probably just guilt for what she did. Please keep sharing your common senseok, so my wife of 25 years just abandoned me, posioned my boys (18 & 21) and took the dogand my (deceased) mothers piano. Had there been any changes in his behavior towards you? No body cared because he said things that were not true, every time I tried to go to a hearing they would cancel it, finally after 4 months they dropped. For the best part of a week I thought he wanted space. This is a way to avoid your hurt and not deal with your emotional health. This was my goal what had just happened wasnt my life plan. And he had started the attitude of battering , after unsuccessful attempts to control the situation, I reported to his mother and that worsen the situation. We have always had a strong relationship, but I lost my job and she was just about to start college, I got another job with the government and was doing that while she was in school, yes because of this situation we did get behind finiancally . I always thought our love for each other would conquer all, but I was sadly mistaken. I wish I had an answer for you. I have to try and stay strong for myself and my children but its so hard. I am because I see him for who he is and I cannot pretend anymore, and that is a problem. We are separated now for 6 months. My husband of over 14 years left two weeks ago. He will probably wake up in a few years and regret this selfish act and damaging decision. I give everything to her. Call out to the lord! I cannot take you anymore. forgiveness and love unconditionally, but when you are the only one keeping the commandments it is hard. Christy, you just summed up my life since December. I have the greatest respect for those who endure the bad times and work to resolve and remedy their challenges. Her parents were in denial as my wife was they also live 31/2 hrs away which is no excuse when I begged for their support. Her loneliness for her family is strong. While cutting your hair may be regrettable, more harmful decisions may result in challenges down the road, such as substance misuse. Before too long the walks and talks became much more intimate and 8 months after we connected, she left her family. Signs that Your Husband Feels Disrespected (and Unloved) Good riddance. It felt like we never stopped loving each other, she just needed some space and I never wanted to let her go. We have tried marriage counciling but are in a state of wait and see. When your children were young, you probably used to have fun and spend time with them. I will not let him see our daughter until he takes a drug test and std test. My husband of 5 yrs n partner of 8 yrs cheated. How can somewhon do that to a spouse that has done nothing other than give them all the love and compassion,loyalty,feelings,and commitment for life. I understand. Totally relate. She would never abandon her children But guilt still plagues me. I dont know. If you didnt it wouldnt be human. I am good to my wife. My "ugly" boyfriend cheated and left me because he finds me I have not moved for 2 days I cant stop thinking is she better then me? Sounds familiar except mine was emotional abuse, yip, happened to me too, thank g i kept postponing the wedding date or id be stuck in an abusive marriage with a traumatized kid. My husband left me after 15 years, and it was purely an ego thing on his part. I know how you feel. My Husband Left Me for Another Woman - Accepting the Reality - Marriage We made specific vows centered around this. I believe in you, life is what we make it. Please. Reading these comments has made me feel less alone and I want to thank you all for sharing. I sometimes look at the cards in love notes you left me and feel horrible, guilty, abandoned, so devastated and angry all at the same time. Shes moved along with out a blink and I have to start all over again. Information about what to do in a crisis is available here: http://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html. It hurts because i love him. My actually became a Judge in another County. I kept with it as I felt so lucky to know someone so unique and incredibly desirable. Beg me to take you back and act like youre sorry for all that hurt, all that damage and that you would never ever again and know that will probably take another 20 years to truly believe you. 7 Things You Should Never Expect From a Narcissistic Husband What do I do to save my marriage or how do find the strength to leave? Love has to be tough this is one reason no matter what you must not take her back . Part of me suspects my wife is one of the mentioned types who craves new love all the time. .. blamed for everything. Im questioning whether he really knows what love is xo I do. I have other kids from a previous relationship and I felt saddened by it all at first. Please help? one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how Dr.Mack have helped a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a woman had a spell . Shes blocked me completely out her life and of my nephews on her brothers side. I asked her, without being overbearing or pushy a couple of times what was wrong and if I could do anything to help, and she assured me everything was fine, she just found this time of year hard. I cant sleep at night. She will never understand just how much hurt she had made so many people feel so she could be selfish and live like a teenager ignoring the fact she has kids watching. All rights reserved. By left me I mean that she asked me to leave. Its the idealistic lovethe one that seems like the fairy tales we read as children. Our two children were grown up and no longer living at home having started their own lives which made me feel even less needed or important in my wife life. So I left him and came back to my house. Sociopaths goal is take a human being and destroy them down to the bottom of their soul. I care about love and passion and family, but if I tell him he laughs and says we dont need that. My experience was so unbelievable that I was in shock, I was diagnosed with PTSD later on. A therapist or counselor can often be supportive and helpful. Also she kept looking at me at the bar.. We believe that is best left to our members. Period. The more you attempt to this the farther you push your spouse toward what the evil wanted to begin with, loneliness, despair, and hurt. I lived in a very small town and very remote area in California. And it might be wrong but I cant just cut people out of our lives as he has done. The only one I feel sad about is our son, they used to be so close ,its as though he is jealous of how his own sons life is going so great, has his dream job , his youth and health and trys to make US feel guilty about HIS life choices that he still insists on taking , even though the jobs he takes are for longer spells on the other side of the world and with every excuse why he cant phone , email ( no or little Internet ) give out his address or even post a letter, cant send him birthday cards or presents ( post to expensive and cant trust the mail ) When you are ready to tell your story Wendy , you will be amazed on how it flows. If you are not than this is a problem that needs solved, as I am sure you would be right at his side if roles were reversved. Im surprised falling out of love is listed as one of the reasons. I am very close to his family especially his mum and he has said hes very unhappy his mum remains close to my daughter and i. But as soon as the girls are home. If I do what you want, you say I am only doing it because you told me to.". I asked him to move out before we settle divorce as I want to respect myself not wanting to wait till august to see if there are really both in live. Her behaviour to me changed and she became distant, rude and put me on the back burner. So I do understand what I am going through and why. She had an affair and i found out about, and I think she cant stand living with the guilt, so by leaving the marriage the guilt goes away. What about: Im lost Im hurt and Ive cried all day. Hi I have been with my wife for 7 years we dated for 4 years and have been married for 3. He seems to be always angry at somebody or some thing. I thought the point of counseling was to speak your mind. Awful. I still love him and hate myself for it. For many people, abusive behavior and infidelity are signs that a marriage is beyond repair. Here it is. Spousal Abandonment Syndrome is the opposite of the traditional divorce which typically comes after years of trying to . My organs were beginning to shut down, and I wound up at the hospital. If he truly loves you and wants this marriage to work he will do what it takes. Look at the research its madness what people are ending marriages for .The problem is you are supposed to be a team function as a team nothing else or anyone else matters . Within a month she snaps the axel and damages the side of her car at a gas station pillar that protects the pumps. Im thinking of not paying the bills next month and moving out while shes away. ?Confused please help. The next day he told me that he did not want it to continue in a relationship with me. I dont think he was doing anything but chatting to this girl, but still it someone triggered his desire to be unburdened from the responsibility of having a family (we have 3 children). Marriage is a covenant and is not based on feelings. Signs a Marriage Cannot Be Saved - Verywell Mind She chose some other dude. I found out that my wife had been backstabbing me with everyone she was close to. She was my everything, my whole reason for being. Thats were the acceptance came into play . Thanks for your response. Yes Im sorry I misunderstood. Dick Masterson speaks the TRUTH. I took it over as there were 4super large steel trays full of food that would have gone to waste if I left it at home. There were no offers for resources, no books or pamphlets, no direction on what to do next., I have fantastic close friends and an even better-extended family. I have being with him 5 years and we broke up once cause he didnt want kids. 1. My situation Is different In that my ex is NICE all the time. And i did love her very much at the time, thinking that i was going to spend the rest of my life with her as well. I was sexually abused when I was 3 not by a parent / relative. My therapist told me she wanted her cake and eat it to. Now she was gone two weeks and something was different. I understand its a problem, but I can not figure out a way to stop it This is often the most painful reason for a leaving, but it's also sometimes the easiest to accept. The message is so strong and clear when there is infidelity . He called me on his way home that night and told me he loved me that day, then gone. I believe every situation has a grieving process and mine was about a month ..I smoked heavily and released my anger in the gym till my pain went away. Believe me evil exists in the world I will pray that you will never experience this great of an evil, but you will experience some evil. Married to a Workaholic: When Your Spouse Works All the Time My Husband Has Left Me - What Do I Do Now? - Andrew G. Marshall If you would like to talk with a therapist or other mental health professional, you can use our website to find one in your area: https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html. I live by this rule. My wife and I have a 2 year old son. My Husband is Divorcing Me Because He Wants Kids : r/Divorce The whole that used to be my heart was devastated. She told me she was leaving, that she had been unhappy for about a month, and that she needed to figure out who she was, saying that because she hadnt really been single for a lengthy period since she was 18 (shes 22 now) she based her individuality on her relationship. I has been left with no rhyme or reason you can read my earlier blog. And how the friends of a man or woman who then leaves there partner for another is accepted. The truth hurts us, but it also helps us to move on quicker. A couple days after New Years she finally agrees to let me come grab a garbage bag of clothes. People are self-centered and do not think of the people they hurt. She was a successful model, creative director of her own clothing line, a television host, lecturer, and mother of a beautiful baby girl.
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