I watched him wither away. I believe this is what the Lord wants. I like many of you put on the false gleeful faade, but I am screaming inside. My brother died 14 months ago, he was only 23 and it was the biggest shock of our lives. Now, Im in year two and I feel like Ive awoke from a coma. Dear Charaine Its like a scar that sometimes bleeds. The second year was just as difficult but, for different reasons. I still shed a tear for her and look forward to the day I see her again in heaven. I just feel like she was cheated out of so much by dying young and just six months after my daughter was born. We were together for 47 years he was my best friend. Trying the best I could to just be. I feel hopeless and just want this horrible life to be over. I too had the months of legal stuff and find things he used to do and now my responsibility rather hard. She passed suddenly from a heart attack. Short-term memory helps babies track objects. I am done. But going into this second year without him, I can only hope he is at peace, and I will have done something to continue and value him that will go beyond me when its time for me to go. Thanks for sharing. xx. I will never be a grandmother she worked at pet smart. I beg for him to come home every day. Everyone tells me I should be better but I am not. Passed from pancreatic cancer. I hope you have found your way I feel so hopeless and Im just tired of feeling like this. Ive been through Mothers Day, her birthday, funeral, favorite holiday 4th of July, and a her wedding anniversary, which would have been 11 years. Anyway it felt good to post this here. Moving forward just doesnt seem possible. Sleep offers solace, music can be painful, but books are my refuge. Any advise? Humans have the capacity to share themselves with another press. I cannot imagine spending the rest of my life alone and I know my wife cant come back. It was the hardest Xmas every. Warning: If the Start_date is greater than the End_date, the result will be #NUM!. He is the best person to talk to. However, Ive lost my father, mother, cousin whom in my heart was my brother. i think as time passes you really realise who that person was in your life how much they meant to you and how noone else can measure up. My husband passed away almost 2 years ago in February and i still dont feel any different, now i have more good days than bad but im still in a lot of pain and crying and depressed because i am missing him. I also listened to grief counselors online. brain tumor surgery. I got a small wave around what would have been our wedding anniversary, but they keep coming as Thanksgiving gets nearer, and theyre a little more frequent, and severe. Theres a spot right around where my heart is that just aches and aches and aches. I didnt aadd anything vital to this topic but I came across it and just thought to vent a little. I do know that he is at peace and at rest. I am not the same person I was. I know what you are going through. But it doesn't know you will always live in my memory. (pdf) Introduction Congress is fast approaching the need to take action on the nation's statutory debt limit, often referred to as the debt ceiling. We only had 4 weeks from his diagnosis to his death, so it was all terribly fast. I feel like Im back at stage 1. Ive also quit watching TV, which I think has been somewhat helpful. I hurt in my heart so deep I cant breathe. Thank you for sharing, Its been 2 years and tomorrow 1 month. But I realised life has to carry on. What to say to a friend who lost their mom or dad - Vox Your baby's memory expands quickly in their first year of life. Its somehow soothing to see some of my blurry thoughts in writing. I was a young 54, when he was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer (non smoker). Operation, trial drugs immunotherapy, radiation..and they came back worse every time till they couldnt do anything else. My husband died on June 4th 2016 .He was fine ,ran 8 miles a day. It was he and I for 37 years. This year, however, i really noticed how each are busy with their own lives nowtho i am sure would come if i called, theres nothing they can do. i want them to be living their lives- its how it should be. Thank God for His presents in my life along with my Two Dogs that my husband loved so much. How did any of you get up and do something for yourselves? Fake it for that childs sake.Cry when your alone. All the talk about heroin overdoses and pet smart commercials is too much. Its not temporary but you will learn to live with it.You have to.I lost my wife of 33 years due to a terrible firearms accident.My uncle is 92 years old and we are very close.His time is limited.I know how you feel! I wish the pain would subside more on some days than others. I havent eaten a real meal since it happened. It was a 16 months battle that we knew she was going to lose. Dad has passed 18 mths now. The second is Grief Share, Your Journey from Mourning to Joy, a nationally organized support program to help individuals in their most difficult journey. I move from day to day and find some confidence that I have made it this far (although I dont really care) and other people have too. Her smile and laugh and crazy hair. I will never get that scene out my head for as long as i live as i froze completely instead of performing CPR like i shouldve (nothing anyone can say to me can change my mind that had i started the CPR 12 minutes before he might have at least had a chance of not being braindead, especially considering that I am CPR certified). I miss him so much. My son took me shopping after my husband died and there was almost nothing I could eat that didnt remind me of him. And lots of shipwrecks. We had problems for a while because of her addiction that she had struggle with for a few years from Pain medication and anxiety and other mental health medication. They always say it will get better. He never smoked but had to have a lung transplant. The twelve month anniversary of my wifes passing came and I thought I would cope but I totally lost it. I still love them all for the years we spent together and for what they meant to my wife. But I get no answers God doesnt tell me why just to trust Him. My life feels now like I am walking on a tightrope carrying a boulder in my arms. The coworker who was back to work smiling only a few days after her Dad died? Its been very hard the first year it was like living in a blur I manage but it was hard. Especially when retirement is in the near future. so tight that only death could break it.And it did. Watching all my friends with their husbands makes me so sad. Ive felt so guilty since he passed about everything I could have said and everything I shouldnt have said, it makes me feel sick to my stomach. You can use the IRS' Where's My Refund? Specially because many times he said to me if I didnt get back with him he didnt want to be here anymore. Im so sorry for your lossyour grief appears to be a response to a great connection and therefore a great loss of companionship and love. (His name was Jackie) I have not had one good day. I wouldnt wish this on anybody. But I realised life is to short. Megan truly gets it. 6 more people passed including my father. Maybe its a person who is also floating. to be strong for them, but some days The finality of it all. I just cant. yes Patricia you have said exactly what I feel. My siblings grieve with me, maybe they handle their emotions better. I watched his body deteriorate over the next 8 months, and I was at his bedside when he passed. She was 45. All My family lives out of town. I have found the experience to be brutal, stripping, sapping, and completely devastating. It was an honor to be there for her and care for her, but those memories of the last six months are so strong. Collapsed at our 49th anniversary dinner. They then called us to get in the room where he was, he was there lying on the bed surrounded by doctors and nurses, he was hooked on tubes a lot of tubes with the machine that was pumping real hard, my oldest daughter that was with me was screaming, we love you so much dad, you can do this etc. Thank you all who have shared their stories here. I understand what you are going through. I can totally understand these feelings. The second year was different clearer, with more good days. I lost my husband 2 years ago very suddenly, we had been together 43 years. It presents itself in a million little ways throughout the day and night. I dont really tell anyone how I feel and about my pain because no one really wants to hear it anymore. I dont want him to think our lives are all moving on and I dont miss him. He was strong he overcame so much I expected him to overcome this. It helps me to know that although I feel alone, I am not alone in my emotions. Only people whove dealt with a difficult loss can truly be empathetic and understanding. I lost my only child june3rd 2017 she was 22 from heroin I found her I do not want to live she was my only reason for living she was my life. Yes Tania. He was gone and there was nothing he could do about it or me. We have to keep going & move forward & grieve whenever we feel like it. Never to forget the wonderful years that you shared. And nothing helps, no praying no counseling the kids are far. One year has passed since you left your princess and gone to heaven. But, my life, as a widower, as a single man, did not include them just like, I really didnt fit into their life I wasnt their sister, their aunt, or theyre best friend. I lost my Mum on the 2nd of February last year. We had so many dreams I wouldnt know where to start sharing them. The Lord is working on that companions heart as we speak, and that person is trying to prepare themselves for a crossroads convergence with your heart. With over 18 stays in the hospital and 29 procedures to keep her liver going. Saying Im sorry for your loss doesnt cut it but being thru situations Im sorry youre lost because I know I am. Even though my love struggled with Parkinsons Disease for more than 25 years. I have her ashes in the kitchen, where she loved to be. Plismy husband passed away at the beginning of this year from brain tumor after being together for almost one mnth now his gone and its the second mnthits just hurts and a headache and making me cry all nitei dnt know wat to do ..i need advice.. We were married 23 years. My sincerest condolences to you with the loss of your husband. He was 13 years older than me but it never mattered until he got congestive heart failure. happy again. I dont want medication. That was when I died- I ask of God the same- Why leave me? heart. I am functioning okaytaking care of my responsibilities. I think of that all the time, when I feel like I cant go on. To have some exchange to feel better or to go forward. I know how you feel. Having lost my Mother when I was young @ 29. A bomb went off in our home and hearts. Yes, my husband just dropped dead at the gym nearly one year ago to the day. Nicely written by Emma J Andrews. Now this next bit my shock some of you but I felt relieved. Every day is a challenge just to get through it. I miss him more now than the first year he was gone. Everyday I am wishing for him to come home, I am hoping that one day he would knock on the door and said Im home, the emptiness is killing me everyday, We misses him so much. But there was a need to accept at a deeper level, and it was very very hard. I cant have gone completely cold though, as I cry reading all your letters, and am so grateful that we have each other xxx. What your going thru. But mostly not going to my mums everyday. No this wont return the lost love in your life or change your story. I realised also I can now go back to work. Those, who simply tell you to move on have either not lost someone of such great meaning or perhaps, are incapable of such a relationship or are repressing their own losses. Its only at night when I lay in bed missing him holding me. Two months have passed. I would fix it if I could but I now know deep down that I cant. Believe me what has help me here recently is reading all of these post, people have told about losing their loved ones. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. I have a son who is 13 from a previous marriage, and he is the only reason I stick around. I hope you have survived you thoughts of taking you life. Read as much as you can and talk an listen as much as you can and find the way through this. I had simething similar happening to me. Im beyond lost. She was just 51 years old and bravely battled cancer for six years. We had bought a house, were remodeling it, and then going to sell the house and move out to the country. Fighting for Surviving life minute by minute. Now I have to keep moving forward with out my other half. My husband died 16 months ago. He also missed eating her sticky rice because according . Holidays were never that great for me as my ex husband of 17 yrs left day before Xmas. Its definitely tough every year and Im on year 4. Take care. Or maybe its because the more time passes, the longer weve had to live without that person. 120 Death Anniversary Quotes And Other Words Of Comfort - Scary Mommy My world has been turned upside down. Now this week is his anniversary and Im a real crazy mess. Which really helped. Or how about my whole immediate family thats destroyed. He died in my arms. why 5 months later, Im still stunned and grieving! Ive never cried so much it was like a present from my husband with them been born on Xmas day and saying bye to them was so so hard. Brain tumour April 2017 blood clots July 2017 diagnosed with moderate cold August 2017 op for brain tumour Nov 2017 death of mum Nov 2017 deep vein reflux June 2018 he was my rock my life my only ever love and he is gone. Since you do have the original Will, you must submit . I lost my Javier Zarracina/Vox. Blaming self for the death. He was my rock. All our plans for the future were dashed that cold rainy night in a hotel room. He listens. I dont have any children or grandchildren either, just my 4 dogs. It works. I have read most of the posts..we are all in pain..it has been 1 year 1 month and 6 days since I lost my best friend my anchor..I live interstate away from my two children..I work full time and have lots lf work colleagues..my lifelong friend lives interstate..I have two dogs and no close friends outside of work.suddenly my pain and lonliness seems to be more devastating that in the first 12 months..people think I am tough and have done really well and appear happy again.how wrong they all are..underneath this fascade is a really sad person whose heart has broken wide open.right now I seriously feel being dead would be easier..I am empty inside with no future to look forward to.even my sense of humour which I am renowned for has died with my hubbyI do motivate muself to go oit and am surrounded by couples only enforcing on how lonely I ama person who used to be extra energetic, happy, always laughing..this person is now dead inside with no wish to carry on with my life.not sure how long I can go on for..if it werent for my dogs I would have left this life months agodont care any more..sorry..but there is no way I can tell anyone how I feel..not even my Grief Counsellor..I know I am not the only one of us who feels like this so whoever you are you will know exactly how I am feelingand no..I will not use antidepressants..I am not depressed there ks no medication for heartbreak. And No, I'll Never 'Get Over' It | Glamour. They only thing was he was not responding to any stimuli, he just so happened to have a little brain damage in the best place possible, but after a week, we decided to let him go, the neurologist gave us no possible hope and his numbers were not getting better. Sadly, at my request my Don went down and got the shingle shot and three weeks later his feet were tingling, he was weak and could barely walk. People who have not been through the sudden death of a spouse have no idea. I rushed his funeral as I didnt want it going into the next year.