I would be wasted if I had 5 drinks. My doctor walked in while he was talking, looked at me still laying on the delivery bed, and told my husband he should probably take care of that later. My husband was asleep in the chair and when they woke him up, he walked over to me and said, My foot hurts. REALLY? I would also say that 5+ drinks make a person more than "buzzed." Its a disorder or an, How to Deal With Someone Who Blames You for Everything, 15 Ways How to Have Self-Control in a Relationship. These are all way worse than mine, but my husband insisted that my then 19 hours of labor was not *real* labor because my contractions were not evenly spaced apart like the book says and did not think it was necessary for me to go to the hospital when I could no longer stand the pain. Is this the best way though? He is trying to lose some weight before the LO gets here. With our second child, he said, Whats the problem, youve been through this before..? Clearly this was ridiculous. Posted 6/9/10. Supporting a woman in labor is an incredibly exciting and important role. We finally make it to the hospital and Im left alone for quite a while and I find out why when he strolls into the room with his lunch of a turkey sandwich, clam chowder soup and soda and he says, dont worry honey, I didnt forget about you, here are your ice chips. He then proceeds to interview and film every nurse that enters the room and when it is time to film the labor, we were out of film, wonder why. She was great because she understood. I remember thinking . Needless to say, when, four weeks later he was resting a pack of frozen peas on his testicles from the vasectomy hed breezily put his hand up for, my sympathy levels were small to non-existent. It's like a moron twilight zone in here. "Put. Even if this method doesn't work, it's a great way to relieve stress and keep your body strong for the . I guess I was just a little worn out from the AGONIZING LABOR AND DELIVERY OF YOUR CHILD THAT I JUST ENDURED YOU-F&!KING-MORON-WHO-DECIDED-TO-EAT-POPEYES!!. He finally agreed, but not until he took a shower and fixed himself breakfast! He then moved to the toilet to puke some more before I yelled at him that hed better get the hell out of there because I needed it NOW. But, in the long run, the denial mode is not going to work at all. I don't know if this has impacted on the way I hold my emotions, but I tend to really bottle everything up until it all becomes too much - even then though it's VERY difficult to communicate any angst or anything that's bothering me. It is mean and very insensitive to the child. She drives me to my place, which looks surreal in the morning light. Now I refuse to touch it so that I can pass it down to my own daughter. And please feel free to add your husbands own egregious efforts below. Can I Use Soju Instead Of Sake; Kentucky Sheriff Vehicle Inspection Fayette County When in labor, every woman becomes bitchy for the reason that she is in tremendous pain, moron! The next few hours are a blur but my husband keeps having to leave to use the bathroom. If that isnt bad enough, he dropped my right leg DURING labor, to show my doctor the outfit my daughter would be wearing home! While I was in labor, sweating like a pig and hooked up to every wire imaginable with waaaay too many things up my vag, he sat back in a chair and said wow, Im really comfortable in this chair. Ummm Im so glad for you!! A therapist or counselor will be able to help him overcome his addiction and lead a more fulfilling life. The one thing that you would do at this point is go into denial mode. I would talk to him on a day he doesn't work like people said, and maybe keep a taxi service on speed dial. A few other symptoms are: Drinking early in the morning. I was so exhausted. All I could do at that point was laugh. But hey, at least the rage is not being maintained. The only known and safe ways for your doctor to do it include the . They would know that their behavior will only add trouble than solve any problem. Its like, my mother went through this, and her mother before her, and, well, basically every woman who ever gave birth went through this & got over it, unless it killed em, so Im going to sit here and appear mildly concerned on the surface but secretly bemused that Im not in your position right now, and knowing, with modern medicine the way it is, that youre going to be all right soon enough, and even lord it over me eventually in the same secret way I enjoyed your suffering. 9 months or so? I thought that was all obvious to DH but apparently I was wrong. This was compounded by the fact I went from water breaking to transition skipping the first four stages of labor ( I couldnt even talk). If you liked this post, follow Mommy Shorts on Facebook. I know you probably came on here just to vent about your guy being insensitive to your worries, but I have to speak up when I see such specific and high quantities related to drinking. He doesn't drink that much EVERY night, but it happens, and I just KNOW with my luck, he will drink that much on the night I go into labor. Drinking several drinks a night to "unwind" after a hard day at work on a regular basis is indicative of a dependency. What is the typical personality of an alcoholic? So, while I was practically under our bed from being doubled over in pain, looking at his watch, he said, I think you need to be more in tune with your body.. Honestly more hurt that thats more important, then it is funny! As soon as the dr left, I yelled at my hubby to get up and he acted offended! I want to know how old the OP and her H are as well as the ages of some of the responders who are so sure their H's will slow down the boozehound behavior closer to their edds. My MIL came by after her work at 3pm to bring me food, saw the mess of family and refused to leave till I was tucked into a room with the baby across the building from the birth family. With my 2nd son, he kept watching the monitor and telling me when I was having a contraction. Women need to put their foot down. When I called him an hour later because I was 9 centimeters he said he was at Sams buying Tupperware. Im sorry if you do not want to hear this but someone has got to say it instead of ignoring it. This post and the responses make me want to bash my head against a wall. Since I had to have a c-section he stayed in the hospital with me the 3 days sleeping on the couch and changed ALL the diapers. Thanks for being an a@#$%&*! You may be in active labor if your contractions happen at least every 5 minutes, last for 1 minute each, and have been . Around 10 am he announces that he has to go home because the Popeyes he ate has given him food poisoning. You have much bigger issues and should seriosly consider looking into alanon. I was only at the hospital for two hours before she arrived. He drinks every night. And never forgot it. After 36 hours of labor and 40 minutes of pushing, my husband had to help the nurses suction our daughter out of me. I was furious! When Orbalina Miranda went into labor with her third child at 4:30 a.m. on Tuesday, she left her two children asleep in their beds, in a relative's care, and headed to Brookhaven Memorial Hospital . LOVED reading all of the stories I thought mine was rare However, we did talk about it; and he truthfully would have been so embarrassed to call and ask his mom (or my parents) to drive me to the hospital if need be, because he wouldn't feel comfortable driving. Oh well, possibly because it was the day before I gave birth to our 3rd child, Jack. Baby. He was drinking coffee, eating breakfast and taking care of the dogs because they were going to be caged up all day. After 38 hrs of labor, My hubby looked at me, with this serious look on his face, while Im pushing our daughters head out, and saidwell that was easy, can we do it again? (It meaning have another baby)i told him sure, but you can carry it this time!, After I had a surgery on my left breast, my husband asked what he would were to an event! I told him to either put the whole call on mute, tell them his wife was in active labor, or (and I strongly encouraged this), NOT TAKE THE DAMN CALL. Unfortunately, the emerald fell out when I was in middle school so I bought a new one to replace it. I think your husband should be able to handle 3-5 weeks of not drinking in exchange for a healthy baby and wife. The only challenge that arises at that moment is neither your husband needs your help at that very moment nor youre a professional counselor. Here are 10 ways of dealing with an alcoholic husband: Wondering how you should be dealing with an alcoholic husband? I had trauma to the right side of my abdomen and hip area, have muscle spasms in the regular to this day, five years later, and my incision looks crazy. About a week later, when it all sunk in and I realised that I was that mother whose husband was basically flammable in the delivery suite, I realised I had been sitting on a teensy bit of suppressed anger. When I mentioned this is really beginning to hurt, his comment? He came home around 5 when my contractions were about 2 minutes apart and proceeded to watch tv and eat dinner. By. Promote a quicker postpartum recovery. He was waiting for my sister to get home so that my car didnt get left in the parking lot. This has nothing to do with "men being stupid". No matter how many times this joke-cum-legend is passed off as a recent tale, nothing will . Or speaking to each other in limited statements, such as Jack just shat his pants or the toilet is blocked. 8 Signs You Are Married to a Controlling Wife & Ways to Cope, How to Deal With Gaslighting in Relationships in 15 Ways, Narcissist Couples What Happens When a Narcissist Meets a Narcissist, What Revenge Tactics You Can Expect from a Narcissist, 5 Ways to Handle Marriage With a Narcissist Wife, How a Narcissist Changes After Marriage- 5 Red Flags to Notice, 7 Effects of Being Married to a Narcissist Ready Reckoners, 15 Signs of a Histrionic Narcissist in a Relationship, How to Make an Anxious Avoidant Relationship Work: 15 Ways, 15 Signs of Narcissistic Parents-in-Law and How to Deal With Them, 15 Signs of a Clinically Covert Narcissist Husband, 10 Ways to Deal With Your Husband Not Wanting You, 5 Ways to Fall Out of Love After Infidelity, 15 Subtle Signs Your Husband Resents You & What to Do About It, 10 Pros and Cons of Getting Sole Custody of a Child, 10 Tips to spend the holidays when your marriage is in crisis, 10 Reasons Staying in a Marriage Without Trust Is Hard, Treading Carefully: Getting Back Together After Separation, 3 Ways Separation in Marriage Can Make a Relationship Stronger, 10 Things You Must Know Before Separating From Your Husband, 12 Steps to Rekindle a Marriage After Separation, How to Combat the 5 Glaring Effects of Anxiety After Infidelity, How to Have a Trial Separation in the Same House, Feeling No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, How to Get Back Together After Separation, 6 Ways to Tell if Someone is Lying About Cheating, 5 Signs That You Are Living in a Toxic Marriage, 7 Important Tips to Build Trust in a Relationship, 10 Effective Communication Skills for Healthy Marriages, 20 Signs of a Married Man in Love With Another Woman. I stop on the way home to fill up the truck and he calls me back asking if I was serious or if this was just a trail run to see how fast we could get everything readyOMG its not a test this is the real deal! Want to have a happier, healthier marriage? Labor was a piece of cake until they broke my bag of waters. My car, my car! he said with horror. I had read a list of what to pack on a baby website. 1.) When they told me at 3am to come in, he just asked, do you NEED me to drive you? If I was to go into labor when he was drinking he wouldn't be there and that's that. Thanks! I suppose I should give him credit for being there at least. So, he took a nap. For the rest of her births, she delivered at home with midwives. When I kicked it off and yelled at him to get whatever was touching me off, he responded with its just a magazine. And then I would unleash hell. I was panting when he turned and yelled at me why cant you get to four. The midwife explained it at the hospital as the baby was born less then 30 minutes later. I laughed out loud at several of these and realized that men just want to minimize the birthing. When I woke up after the operation, the nurses unceremoniously kicked me out, but because I didnt have a cellphone, I couldnt call him and I didnt have my own transport. "I finally snapped and said that I wasn't going to name my child an ugly name that I don't like for the sake of a woman that doesn't even like me," she writes. I didnt even realise I was annoyed about this, nor did I particularly want to be, but it just kind of snuck up on me. So I drove the 40 minutes to the hospital solo. I jumped on board. Life with an alcoholic husband is tough. Your H has a serious drinking problem, you enable him, you are having a baby who will be left alone with this man, and all you are worried about is getting to the hospital? Then he gets home and wants a couple more glasses of wine. My husband and I heeded the advice and packed a bunch of snacks. It was his decision. Rachell, I was in labor all night and ready to go in the morning. Thank you TokenI think im in love with you! Of course, I couldnt, so about 9 am, I started timing my contractions and they were getting to be about 5 mins apart. The only way to stop this from happening is to let your husband know that you wont tolerate any unacceptable behavior of theirs under any circumstances. For you I would give your DH a heads up if you start feeling any contractions and have him head home if they start getting regular . -Anne, When the nurses asked how bad the pain was from 1-10 and I said 10, my husband said oh, come on it cant be that bad. Telling my sister that if we needed her, to call the house where he would be at and someone would give him a message, since he didnt think the baby would be born for quite a while. We went to the urologist and he laughed out loud when my DH said that he was a moderate drinker and then told him that he usually had 1 or 2 beers a day. My dad went out for tacos! When your partner needs help, they will reach out to you. At the hospital after the birth of our second child, my husband asked if we could not stay at the hospital because he didnt sleep well there and it hurt his backand, apparently he won that one because we packed up and headed home, where his selective hearing allowed him to sleep through the night from that point forward. I'm guesing it's pretty important. I folded those clothes some more. Labour won't "sober him up" and make it safe for him to drive. Exercise can be anything that gets the heart rate up, such as a long walk. My husband got into an argument with a nurse and almost got himself kicked out of the hospital. Finally he gets into town, horses and all in the hospital parking lot, smelling like a branding! Seriously. I was having post labor contractions holding onto the counter begging him to just microwave a Mac and cheese from the freezer talking him through it. She told all of the nurses to shut up and leave as she recovered. I still give him crap about it almost four years later now. The nurses were advising and waiting on him. I was laying on the bed playing And E was sitting in my desk chair. Lucky for him, he was standing just out of my reach. As a wife of a recovering alcoholic please listen to what everyone is saying about binge drinking and alcoholism. With our third, he asked me to stretch out the pushing for 55 minutes so he would win the money pot at work. Your DH's drinking is outside what is healthy, for him, for your relationship, and for your new family. ! was my reply in the softest angry voice I could mutter. Call a sibling or a friend and have them be at the ready to bring you to the hospital on the off chance your husband decides to booze it up with his co-workers. I am not saying what your DH is doing is right, in fact, I think 5 drinks every night is a bit heavy and you should talk to him about it. When I told my husband at 2am that it was time to go to the hospital, he said, Oh, not tonight, I have a headache.. I asked him to rub my aching back and he refused. Alcoholics don't just drink hard liquorWTF? My son is adopted but we were able to be at the birth. They might have difficulties controlling their emotions and be prone to anger or violent behavior when drunk. Mine said I was making a spectacle of myself while in an induced labor with back to back contractions. Check out this video to understand how to get your alcoholic spouse into treatment: Discuss the various treatment options that are available and find the best one for him so that he can get better as soon as possible. You willingly married and created a child with an annoying drunk and yethe's the stupid one. I had to go to the hospital for a D&C with my first pregnancy as the baby stopped growing and there was no heartbeat, but I didnt miscarriage automatically. I think I may have got lucky! Its never easy to be with an alcoholic husband, but these things can surely help. It may be harsh but is needed. Let's get right into it- the top ways to make labor come faster after losing your mucus plug: 1. And that he has a choice to make but if he wants to "risk" drinking each night then that's his problem if he isn't there. You really, really need to talk to him about this habit. My now ex husband left me home to go to army reserves for the day as i labored home alone. If that doesn't work,I have two thoughts. It's just that the cumulative effect of 4-5 drinks from 5pm until 10 or 11 makes me worry. That first night, my husbands parents took him to eat a fancy steak dinner while I was stuck in the hospital eating cafeteria food and playing hostess to15 or so unannounced visitors who all showed up at the same time. She said she would kill me if i left or fainted so, yeah, i was there for her..lol, I wouldve called my nurse in and asked her to slap him! Many people told me that being induced would be really difficult, long, and painful. To help you more to understand, Is my husband an alcoholic?, listed below are also some pointers on how to live with an alcoholic husband. I was always sad that I was alone when my sweet son was born. But when he does, he is belligerant and can't stop and just a few. 28 Examples of Crap Husbands Pull While Their Wives are in Labor. My partner and I have not fought at all during our relationship, nor has he given me cause to rage. Second, that is way to much drinking for a regular basis. Im sure his parents saw far more than they ever hoped to see, and Ive never let him live it down. And that I hadnt eaten dinner and was starving. Im so fed up that I almost want a divorce. Jaime Clark didn't feel contractions with her first baby, either. If men only knew how much pain and exhaustion really goes into labor. My guess is that most husbands sort of enjoy seeing their wives suffering a little bit, especially if it was the wife nagging to have the child. I woke up at 2:30 to contractions. It scream youth and ignorance. She gets anxiety from any surgery, so her anxiety was high. You should also make sure to spend quality time with each other and remind yourselves why you fell in love in the first place. Listen to Token and others who have pointed out that there is a problem beyond driving to L&D. He normally goes to the pub every Friday, not too late. Judging from the two phone calls I had with Uncle B while she was in labor (one in which he was right by her side at the hospital and the other in which he was buying her a box of popsicles), Id say he didnt screw his job up nearly as bad as most of your husbands did. Well when it was time for my epidural, my husband went home to take a quick shower and grab a bite to eat! With my second I was in labor through the night, his dad kept asking if he could go home to sleep because I didnt need him there, he missed his bed and the hospital staff was disrupting his sleep. Your husband has to submit to you during your childbirth becauae you are the patient and you will be exposed. It's too much. Im shaking because of the epidural so I get no sleep, and hes snoring and well fed. PCOS and Hypothyroidism- Successful IUI's- May 2012 and October 2014. Hopefully our midwife keeps him in line. More than that is considered heavy drinking, and as previously stated 5+ on any one occasion is considered binge drinking. He asked me to please give him a signal before I had a contraction (and they were, oh, 90 seconds apart) so he could mute the call in time. Hiding bottles or drinking secretly so that family will not know what . Im not sure where to start with my story and it has been 20 years and fresh in my mind. Prodromal labor usually won't. yep, i paint with a broad ass brush. Thats why I wish my daughter grows up to be gay. And then figured hed take care of some business while he was on the line. SEARCH PARTIES. The following is an exclusive excerpt of Goodbye, Sweet Girl: A Story of Domestic Violence and Survival, a new memoir by Kelly Sundberg (available June 5). Ahh, those were the days I bet he misses me. I like the suggestion that if he's buzzed, he's not invited into the delivery room, and HE has to call his folks to explain why THEY need to drive me to the hospital. Then-deputy leader Tanya Plibersek had been considering running for Labor leader in May, 2019, but pulled out because her daughter Anna was to appear in court over ex-boyfriend's abuse. My husband fell asleep while I was in labor and was in such a deep sleep, the anesthesiologist had to maneuver around him in the chair in order to do the epidural. -Amber, My husband made me wait for him to finish watching Gladiator after my water broke. Joanish, My husband grew up on a cattle ranch, and during labor with our first he very confidently announced to the nurse that he wasnt nervous at all because Ive seen this a million times with cows. When I insisted that it in fact had broken, he asked me if i was sure, and how did i know. Thanks for sticking with us for a full year. Oh, yeah, I am sure he will slow it down. Amy Dickinson. Ask the medical staff questions. It was 4am when I decided to wake up my husband (this was 2 hours after dealing with the labor on my own) and I told him its getting so much stronger now. My husband and the doctor talked football the entire time I was pushing. I am sure you are aware there are going to be a lot of long nights that you are not going to want your DH sleeping off his buzz. That was a mistake. Woodward said the labor was moving fast and about 15 minutes later, the baby had arrived, even before paramedics had arrived on the scene. After like 2 hours I called to have him tell me he didnt feel good so he was taking a nap, and that he was sure I could handle our daughter on my own. said he was not paying for any unnecessary pain medication since he witnessed many cows giving birth and they just plop them out. There was a family business. The tendency to hide their problems is also a common characteristic among alcoholics. It is also a good idea to spend more time with your loved ones as this will reduce your stress levels and improve your mood. Or a little bit of both? And yeahshe figured it out and got him out quickly after that, but he was deeply bruised and as a result had terrible jaundice, needing bili blankets through the fifth day and had muscular trauma in his neck that he needed therapy to correct for two years afterward. While have contractions at home with my 1st child ( it was around 6pm and my contractions were coming every 5min) my husband called up to me from down stairs (I was on all 4s at this point) asking if I was hungry and he was going to order an Indian take-away. It sounds like you and your H are both in denial (as apparently are a few other posters on this thread). I mean he would have just stayed home and played video games, if I had given him the impression that Ill be okay on my own. I wish men weren't so stupid about some things. My contractions are 1-2 min apart at this point. My husband also told me at one point that hearing the doctor give me the episiotomy sounded like someone cutting raw chicken with scissors. He never got that chance. He still occasionally takes a beer, glass of wine or a rye down to the office when he's doing paperwork, but occasionally is the key word here. I was in labour for almost 24 hours with my first, and my hubbys mom brought him in a HUGE meal because she was worried hed be hungry while I enjoyed a meal of ice chips. I will never know. It wasnt my normal doctor and she didnt believe me when I said that my four weeks early baby was estimated at around 9lbs 14 OAS two days prioryeah, I have huge kids, no gestational diabetesanyway So, she ignored that and made me incisions too small and couldnt get the baby out, despite the epidural it was PAINFUL and after ten minutes of yanking (not kidding) and vacuuming and RIPPING MY INCISION TO THE SIDE, I was screaming and crying. Probably my biggest moment of suppressed anger started on the 2nd of December, 2006. If you want to read all 237 responses (and YOU DO), click here. I went home, took a shower, fed the cats, and came back a few hours later to strange looks from the nurses who cared for my baby while I was gone. After 30 hours of labor, it was time to go to the hospital and my husband informs me that he needs to run across the street to get his hair cut and I have the number if I need him. Money was scarce.